Pikana's Contest! Goggles and Gloves
by Quizy
Summary: Why couldn't it have been easier to make Pichu the girl! Because... just because! A love story between Pichu and Master Hand! A Message from your neighborhood Quizy: PROCRASTINATION SUCKS!
1. Words Of Wisdom

**Yip Yip Yippers, Here's My Unique pairings contest entry for Pikana. Does it sound rushed? BECAUSE I WROTE IT TODAY!!!**

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"Oh Hell", Pichu muttered under his breath. "Oh Heaven, Oh Earth, Oh God, Oh Jesus Christ, Oh Buddah, Oh Ghandi, Oh Life, Oh Death, Oh Arceus, Oh Mew, Oh Din, Oh Farore, Oh Nayru, Oh Mamuta, Oh Ice Goddess, Oh Yune, Oh Dream Fountain, **OH CHOCOLATE COATED CRAZY HAND ON CRACK,** _**SHE KNOWS!!!!!!"**_ I screamed in a blood curdling voice at the ceiling while balling my paws up into fists. I turned a furious shade of crimson and walked out of my room into the empty moonlit hallway to avoid waking up my roommates Pikachu and Yoshi.

As the moon slid through the glass window and hit the ruby red carpet lining the hallways of Smash Mansion, I hopped onto the window sill so that I ended up staring down at my own lonely shadow.

"_So... this is what it's come to...", _I rubbed his eyes groggily. _"What am I going to do when I see M... no, don't think about her. It's her insane brother you have to worry about. Who knows what he'll do when he finds out I like his big sister a little bit more than I should..."_, I hopped down so that I wouldn't have to stare at my own lone shadow and forced myself onward.

My thoughts somehow managed to carry me to the Smash Mansion Cafeteria. At the back of the Cafeteria was a stage and on the stage was Jigglypuff, polishing her microphone while humming a sweet little tune I recognized as the song she used to sing to me when I was stressed. This wasn't the fist time I had wandered out to the Cafeteria in the middle of the night, so she wasn't too surprised to see me.

I waddled over to the stage and sat down at the edge, facing out to the audience that wasn't there. Jigglypuff stopped polishing her microphone and sat down next to me. "Pichy? What is it this time?"

"It's... it's... it's...", I struggled to share my story, but the words died inside of me and I turned awkwardly back to where I had been staring before.

"Oh, that sounds serious... Pichu, do tell me what's wrong. You're only in your baby stage, you shouldn't be so stressed..."

"I'm 16!" I shouted looking at her, then I calmed down and sighed "I'm... sixteen... I'm not a baby anymore, forget what biological studies show, I'm a full blooded teenager... And you're only seventeen so don't tell me you knew how I felt at one time", I pouted. I was sensitive tonight and even if I didn't want to admit it, I knew perfectly well why....

"It's because of her...", I found myself whispering without knowing.

"Oh... who is this lucky girl you've so valiantly fallen for?" Jigglypuff smiled, hugging me in the hopes that the warmth would encourage me to go on.

I flinched and flung my head face first into my arms as my entire face turned to what I would have mistaken for as a very strange looking tomato if I had looked in the window and hadn't been feeling like I would have rather been ran over by a Tauros and Miltank stampede.

"Oh how my heart longs for hers, I once began to freak out because I thought I was having a heart attack, but when Dr. Mario told me that didn't happen to pokemon, I just realized that I was missing her... again..."

"Who?"

"Master Hand-OH!" I slapped my hands over my mouth and eyeballed Jigglypuff terrified as I accidentally slipped my beloved's name.

Jigglypuff just chuckled then titled her whole body, considering she was nothing more than a head and some limbs, to her side. "Wait... I thought that... Master Hand was a man... His voice... and he- er... she...", she pondered.

"She's a girl", I growled at her.

"Okay, okay!" she panicked. "I just thought... if anyone you would fall for someone like... one of the pokeball pokemon... maybe me-Oh! No, I don't mean anything like that! Maybe Nana... But... Master Hand? How old is... she?"

"17,649... but, she's immortal of course. So, she's around my age mentally", I muttered. I really didn't feel comfortable, but it felt good to get this all off my chest.

Jigglypuff yawned. "How did you find all this stuff out anyway?"

My face turned dark red again "Um... um.. um... we're... good friends..."

"Oh Pichi, honey, I'm so happy for you!" Jigglypuff hugged me, then leaned forward to kiss my forehead, causing me to rub it furiously and get into a pouting position again.

"Thanks...", I groaned in reply, pausing for a second then holding my head in my hands again. "Oh... Jiggly, what am I going to do??"

"You'd better quit moaning before someone comes and sees you blabbing about", Jigglypuff smiled, patting my back.

"But... she... _K...N...O...W...S..._ JIGGLYPUFF, _SHE KNOWS..._"

"That you love her?"

"YES"

"But, that's nothing to be ashamed of!" she stood up, looking down at me.

I took my head out of my hands and looked up her. "It's not?"

"No! You go up to her! And you let her know you want to hold her! And love her! And that you wanna have her babies! And THAT YOU WANNA BE WITH HER TIL THE END OF TIME... and that you wouldn't mind getting in bed with her..." she shouted, pointing at the sky. She made sure to whisper that last part into my ear.

My ears drooped and my pupils disappeared along with the rest of my face as I stared at the mad puffball shouting to the sky.

"I didn't know you were insane Jigglypuff..."

She looked back down at me. "YOU DO NOW!!!"

Crazy Hand appeared in front of us suddenly.

"DO YOU MIND?! IMMAH TRYIN TO SLEEP!!!" he shouted, cuddling with a stuffed dragon with three heads.

My jaw dropped suddenly when the mad hand popped in. "S-Sorry, sir! I'll go to sleep right now!" I jumped up off the stage, ran out of the Cafeteria, dashed down the hallway. I looked out at the moon for a second... I miss her... I ran down the rest of the hallway, span around a corner, found my room, opened the door, slammed it behind me, and jumped under the covers of my bed before Crazy Hand could say anything more.

Jigglypuff stared at Crazy Hand. Crazy Hand stared at her.

Silence endured.

A bead of sweat popped up on Jigglypuff's head.

Crazy Hand twitched.

"Cra-"

"IMMAH FIRIN' MAH LAZ-"

"No...", Jigglypuff said sternly.

The next day was torture. First off, I woke up sleep deprived because I was so nervous while I was sleeping. I looked into the mirror to find an alternate world version of me where hairbrushes don't exist and we ride high speed roller coasters every day. I did up my goggles so that they hid most of the mess. Then, I brushed my teeth for hours until I was sure those stupid bad breath germs had been vanquished and I spent forever trying to pop every single pimple. I made sure to shave too, but then I remembered I was covered in fur.

I suddenly clutched at my heart. It had been doing that lately... every time I remembered her. Every time I remembered that she KNEW. It throbbed and I saw her... well, hand... It was such a pretty hand. She had a human form though too. In fact, she had given me a looooong tutorial over her race and all the different abilities, but of course I was too busy staring at her.

"Augh!" I grunted, clutching at my heart again. "Calm down, calm down...". I ended up smiling again as I imagined her sweet face giggling at me

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Yeah...


	2. Stupid WireFrames

WHAT WAS I THINKING?!

I was sweating more than I had in any Melee I'd ever fought in. My ears twitched at every movement and my tiny rodent eyes peered from inside the ventilation system to see the door to Master Hand's office.

"Okay...", I told myself. "I'm just gonna wait until Crazy Hand leaves because I do-hon't wanna get beaten up!!!" I slouched over onto the ground, crying. If that psychotic hand knew that I had a thing for his sister, WHO KNOWS WHAT HE'D DO?!?!

I waited for hours... but nothing happened. Bowser chased after Peach and Dr. Mario had to shoot a needle into him, ...but that was it.

Finally, Crazy Hand randomly burst out of Master Hand's office covered in peanut butter and started rolling around in front of the door singing some crazy lady song about kicking people to the curb unless they looked like Mick Jagger in a high little girl voice.

"Okay...", my eye twitched and I looked away. I crawled a little ways back the vent and felt something bump into my rump. I turned around suddenly, shocking myself in surprise as well as the person I bumped into.

Oh Arceus... It was a Male WireFrame...

"Sir, is there any reason you're crawling around the ventilation system?" he asked.

"But you're here too!" I shouted back at him.

He nodded. "And any reason you feel the need to electrocute people?"

"Oh...", I looked down. "Sorry, you startled me..."

He nodded again. "And any reason why your speech is slurred?" he asked, looking at me in a curious manner.

"What?! You think I'm drunk?!"

"That was a bit out of nowhere. Are you hiding something?"

"Look, I had a rough night, of course my speech is going to be a bit slurred. I'm tired! And it was fairly obvious you thought I was drunk, all the questions and the need to know why I was talking funny!"

"I see...", he looked back to his waist and pulled out a walkie talkie. "I'm going to need some back up here. I have a drunken Smasher crawling around the vents... His speech is slurred too".

"It's six o' clock in the morning!!" I shouted into the walkie talkie.

"Sir... please back away, or I'll have to use force".

"Look! Look! What can I do to prove I'm not drunk?" I asked, getting desperate, pushing my hand out from me.

He eyeballed my hand and I realized I still had my empty coffee cup from this morning.

"What's in that cup?"

"Can't you recognize a coffee cup when you see one? It's coffee!"

"No need to get testy sir, hand me the cup"

"What? Do you think it's some sort of crack coffee?" I asked, getting aggravated.

He looked at me in a familiar way and I sighed, handing him the cup.

He pointed it towards me and expressionlessly said "Open it".

I just looked at him thinking Seriously? "It's not a bomb, my Arceus. How am I supposed to drink a bomb?" I asked, already opening the cup.

He flinched as I removed the lid, then looked inside, taking a sniff.

"It smells almost like... Vanilla Scented Candle..."

My eyebrows furrowed in a ridiculous manner. "That would be the Vanilla Coffee Creamer"

"I see...", he muttered, placing it behind him. He pulled out a note pad and pencil. Then, he looked at me. "Have you taken anything this morning?"

I decided to suck everything up and get this over with. "I had a bowl of cereal"

"AHA! Oh... never mind... Any pills?"

"No"

"Any alcohol?"

"No"

"Any medicine?"

"No"

"Any allergy medication?"

"No"

"Any new types of hair gel?"

"What? No!"

"Anything to drink?"

"I thought we just established I drank a cup of coffee"

"So...?"

"No"

"Were you touched when you were little?"

"No"

"Your parents ever beat you?"

"No"

"Ever been diagnosed with Bipolar disease?"

"No"

"ADD?"

"No"

"ADHD?"

"No"

"Diabetes?"

"No"

"Criminal Record?"

"No"

"Ever wanted to kill something before?"

"No"

"Any emotional disorders?"

"No"

"Any-"

"Look, how long are you gonna-"

"Ever crawled into a ventilation system in the hopes of waiting until your omnipotent boss's pyschotic brother left so that you could enter the room and woo her, but by a twist of fate ended up ticking off some cop and having to answer a series of stupid questions while you're slowly losing confidence to confront the girl of your dreams?"

"What?"

"Mmhmm... Just as I thought. You'll have to come with me"

"Augh..." I groaned looking back to see Crazy Hand leaving and the door to Master Hand becoming clear to use.

"This way sir", motioned the WireFrame as a Female counterpart joined us.


	3. The Odd Couple

"I TOLD YOU, I'M NOT EMOTIONALLY DISTURBED!" I shouted, electricity firing madly from my cheeks hitting all the wireframes in the room who didn't even seem to flinch.

"Mr. Chu", said a voice in response to this. I turned around to see another blasted wireframe.

"...What?" I growled, crouching atop Dr. Mario's desk in the infermery.

"Have you taken any-"

"!!!!!!" I shouted, sending a thunder bolt spiraling towards the figure, sending them shooting out the window. I turned around again to see a few other wireframes looking at me. A wild look was in my eye and I was plainly aware of it.

"Anyone else ask me something dumb and I'll... I'll...... Iiiiii'llllll....", suddenly nothing mattered anymore as someone was streaking their fingers through my fur gently.

The wireframes all relaxed. "Our Master, Master Hand has taken over the situation", stated a wireframe. "Do you require any assistance?"

"No...", came a booming, manly voice. "Everything is fine, you may go".

The wireframes all evacuated the room and slowly the immense omnipotent glove fingers transformed into slender, feminin, human ones.

I turned on to my back to see Master Hand in her true form. She was a very beautiful human. She was an extremely elegant looking girl with glistening forest green eyes. She looked to be about sixteen though she had the face and spirit of an eight year old. She also wore pale gray skinny jeans, tennis shoes, and a skinny cotton vest on top of a long sleeved shirt that led down to a pair of gloves, however, her left arm was completely black. She also had short silvery hair that reached down to her shoulders and had a streak of gold though it that covered her left eye and ear. On her right ear was an earring in the shape of a glove.

She had the smile of a pixie and her teeth glistned as she looked down at me, switching to scratching my ear.

I naturally tilted my head back, closed my eyes, and a huge smile formed on my face. "I lo..." I started to say the words I so desperately wanted to say, but then I realized that Master Hand was nothing more than a friend and I sat up. "Hi Masikins", I chimed her nickname and couldn't help, but smile as her eyes looked into mine.

"Hi Pichi", she smiled back and I found her head inching closer to mine.

I suddenly realized what she was doing. I forced my smile into a look of curiosity. "So... um, Discover... anything lately?"

"Discover?" she asked looking at me. She couldn't help, but let a silent laugh escape.

Ugh, did she have to smile so much? I was trying to be serious.

I couldn't help, but laugh back. "Yeah... discover"

"Pichu, you know I know and I know you know", she pouted sternly.

Ugh, now she was pouting... She was so sweet...

"So... I guess you think I'm a stalker or something now, huh?" I asked, looking up at her with what I hoped looked innocent.

"No...", she sat down next to me on Dr. Mario's desk.

I turned my head away, blushing. I then looked back up at her to find that her magical green eyes held mine in place. "Pichu... I haven't felt this way for at least ten thousand years. I've never liked a boy as much as I like you. I want to be with you forever. I have since we fist met. You're not like other boys... You're like... a baby, but you're more than that... You're mine", she smiled curling her arms slowly around my stomach and leaning me against the wall.

My eyes fell into slits as my lips seemingly inched toward her. "Well, I guess that works out perfectly since I loved you since the moment I met you too".

I closed my eyes and heard my beloved's sweet chiming laugh as we became one.

I closed my eyes as Master Hand transformed into a snow white Pichu with golden ears and grassy green eyes. I slouchd my head into her lap as she stroked my fur peacefully, looking out over Rainbow Road to see starbits falling around the Earth. Kirby and his mirror counterparts wrestled along the road, playing and laughing until Kirby himself caught sight of us.

"Ooooh, Masta Hand, I didn' know you wee pat Pichu."

"Ooooooooh...", gazed all the other Kirbys.

I lifted my head and caught sight of all of them.

They looked at me nervously, wondering what I would do... I just smiled and kissed Master Hand passionatley on the lips. We stayed like that until a white kirby broke the silence.

"Eeeeeew!!!"

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!!" all the other Kirbys stuck out their tongue.

"But... they're so diffwent!" shouted a Blue Kirby.

I laughed at the comment, realizing it was true and looked into Master Hand's charming green eyes and we kissed again... and again... and again... and again...

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_Though I'm a mouse_

_And you're a glove_

_It isn't odd_

_That we're in love_

_If the Moon_

_Were to love a Tree_

_It'd still give it light_

_They'd be happy_

_Like children laugh_

_And animals play_

_I'll always be thankful_

_For Being with you today_

_So don't try to understand_

_Don't wonder why_

_Because even though we're odd_

_I'll love her 'til I die_

_

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**This Chapter felt a bit short so I worked a poem into it. Yaaaaay, I'm done. It really sucks though as I reread it. Actually, that was a lie! I don't have time to reread. I promise to come back one day and rewrite this. I hope it's not too late! This was posted April 25 at 8:00 p.m.**

**Oh, and who knows the inspiration for this story? Pikana knows!**


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